Friday, March 28, 2008

The Day

Toothpaste. 
    That was my first thought upon waking, realizing my sheets must have tackled me during the night. Or the other way around, which is of course more improbable. With a groan I glanced at the blurry red digits on the alarm clock across the room. 

    5...no wait...6:40 am??!?!?

   I leaped out of bed and was hit with a tsunami of dizziness. I staggered gracefully to the side and pushed the tussled brown hair out of my face. I had to be at class at 7:30, which meant I had to leave at 7:15 and no later. I had enough time for the five minute emergency check-up in the mirror. 

 Hair still on head? Check
Eyes not TOO red from lack of sleep? Er...check minus.
Acne? Whatever, can't do anything about it.
Vision clearing up? Check. 

I dashed towards my closet and grabbed a pair of pants and a shirt that didn't look like they had been worn this week just yet. Pulling them on, I grabbed an orange when I yearned for an omelette and ran out the door. 

I had to be out by 7:15....7:20, I left the building, and...oh SHOOT the bag is in the room. I turn around unexpectedly and bump into a large person, immediately becoming frustrated with how THEY didn't notice that I was going to turn around, but grumble an apology anyways. 
 
    Alright, 7:23 and I have my bag. I run, out of breath, towards the classroom, receiving stares now instead of glances. I convince myself its because I look like those beautiful women in the movies who run through traffic, hair flying elegantly. Almost to the door, the light, the goal....

I bump into HIM!

That's right.....my...
   Calculus professor. How embarrassing. 

I mutter apologies and try to mask my embarrassment with quick wit and fail. He raises his eyebrows and says its okay. I fail to realize it's 7:29.
   
   I rush towards the door, sliding in as its about to close and awkwardly take a seat. Exactly 7:30 and 20 seconds. I breathe a sigh of relief, trying not too look too brilliant as I sit up in my chair and look at the clock. 

Wait 5 minutes for the professor to arrive. 

 Professor arrives, muttering no apologies. 

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Oligarchy's Big Day

Oligarchy was a sad man. His parents had many a son (hey, it sounds old English like that way, so it HAS to be grammatically correct) and few a daughter. 


And his name was Oligarchy. 


Poor kid.

The Sneeze of a Thousand Tears

Long ago......
     In a far away land....
          In a time where even I was too unborn young to care....
    

   There lived...a....
      TERRIBLE BEAST!   
    Who went by the dramatic name "Beastuvius"
      And shattered the fragile realities of beauty......
 
            But there was one.....only one, among human kind.....who sneezed.....

Like with great power.....
               ....With this sneeze came great responsibility

 His name was etched into time like never before. 

     They called him:

                                  LORD SNEFAHUMEROUS!

     Though orphaned and left to be raised by yellow spotted wolves, he was a gentle soul. 
   And he understood beasts, as he was raised by them. 


            Beastuvius has no chance against the likes of my dashing tales.